My dirty little Mom secret....

I have a secret, no, a fear.  I am petrified that Kami will be ‘that kid’, the weird girl, the one no one wants to play with, be seen with, and begs their Mom not to invite to their birthday party.  We all know who I am talking about; every class had a ‘that kid’.  I look back now and wonder if they were autistic or had Asperger’s.  To combat my deep seeded fear, I dress Kami to impress.   When she leaves the house in the morning she is done-up right.  Hair in place complete with bow, outfit ironed and matched with perfection.  My goal…for the other Moms  (and their children) to look at her and think there could be nothing wrong with her, that she looks too put together to have any problems.

Now, she does not come home this way, the bow is gone, hair is disheveled, clothing is wrinkled, and sometimes even torn or stained.  But, for at least five minutes each morning I feel that Kami blends in with all the other kids…she will not be ‘that kid’, she will be befriended, liked, and successful.

 

Time...

Time.....something that is purely relative, we we were young we had too much of it, now there is so little and it flows through our fingers like the fine grains of sand from an hourglass.  This is where I am with Kami, out of time this summer.  Our carefree days of not worrying about the upcoming school year are gone and the stress and worry of what is to come have replaced the feelings of beautiful summer breezes and cloud free sky.  Here is to hoping that the school year will hold a tiny bit of ease!

Something new....

New things are not always good things.  Kami started to not feel well at school and came home two days in a row due to stomach complaints.  Once she was at home, her stomach would start to feel better and by the time her older siblings were home, she was perfectly fine.  After talking with her and her teacher, I came to the conclusion that anxiety was the problem.  This is something that OHSU has informed us could develop...I was hoping it would not.  We made it through the next 2 days of school, barely, and got into the doctor to talk about the steps we should take to resolve the issue.  We are now to have some tough love with Kami about school, school is her job and she needs to go, she can talk about all her feelings and concerns after school, but before school, no.  This has been hard, but it is working....I just hope spring break does not ruin all the work we have poured into this turn around with school.

Snow time!

Over President's Day weekend we headed up to Mt hood to spent some fun time in the snow!

 While the older two went snowboarding Kami and Kori had fun tubing and playing in the snow.

 It was great that we found a quiet spot off by the 'slow' sledding slops to hang out, the crowds and noise got to be too much far Kami after about two hours and she was starting to melt down.  But, once we got away from everyone she immersed herself in the snow and relaxed.

 After awhile she was able to hit the tub runs again with my cousin and Kori, fun for all!

And two are gone

Kami was having some fun playing with Daddy before bed and took a little bump to her two front teeth.  Well, she came to me a little while later because one of these teeth was bleeding, I gave it a little wiggle and it felt firm in the gum, so I gave her a paper towel to soak up the small amount of blood.  Within the next 2 hours both of her front teeth came out!  Kami was very excited for the tooth fairy to come and retrieve not one but two teeth!

Party Time....

This little girl turned six.

 So, it is time for cake, or in this case, a cupcake!

 Beautiful birthday wishes.

 A great place to celabrate.

 With good friends.

Someone is Six!

Six years ago I held a beautiful baby girl who fought for her first breath.

 Every time I look into her beautiful blue eyes, my heart soars with love for her.

 Someday I will understand how her mind works, how she thinks....

 but, one thing I know is her heart and it is filled with love.

 I feel so blessed to be love by her, my dear sweet Kami.

The Need for Insurance Reform....

I recently had to present a topic for a my Writing 327 class, my topic was something that is close to me, insurance coverage for autism.  We are one of the lucky ones, since our insurance covers Kami's speech therapy.  BUT, we have still spent well over three thousand dollars so far this year on autism related therapy.  Please contact you senator and congressman to let them know that we need the Autism Insurance Reform Bill (Senate Bill 555 and House Bill 2214) in Oregon to pass in the next legislative session.

How to contact you congressman.....
http://www.leg.state.or.us/house/

How to contact your senator....
http://www.leg.state.or.us/senate/

New Adventures.....

I ignored my blogs this summer, I was busy with school and kids and it was easy to let go, but now that we are back on a schedule, here I am!  Kami took a break from speech therapy up at OHSU for the summer and had fun with ballet, playing with friends and going to the beach and hiking up at Mt Hood.  But, now she on a whole new path and a brand new adventure!

Kami is in all day kindergarten with her favorite teacher, she is taking swimming lessons and is in a new ballet class.  These are major changes for a little girl who does not take to change well, but she is pushing through her anxiety and doing the best she can.  Swimming is the hardest for her, I am not sure where the fear is coming from, she loves the water, but there is something about the pool, maybe not being able to touch that causes her enormous amounts of fear, but she is facing it!

Breaking Through.....

Well, we have broken through some of the Red Tape!!! I thought it would be a gratifying event, but alas, it was not. We had a big meeting with ESD and the local school district and I left feeling undermined and seconded guessed by people who do not even know my daughter. This was a result of the fact that I am keeping Kamryn in private school, this is where I know she will thrive, succeed and most of all be comfortable. The local school district thinks she will not. I find this hard to understand, since they have not met my daughter, her teacher, or visited her school. Also, I find it hard to understand how 30 minutes of autistic care group once a month (what she would have at the public school) is really going to make such a big difference. In her current school she has more time with her teacher, smaller class size and knows her environment and schedule. This is what is going to help her. Ok, rant over! :)

Red Tape....

Last Friday Kami and I made our 90 mile round-trip up to OHSU for her weekly speech therapy, thankfully it was a gorgeous day! After her appointment with Kami's Disney princess sounding therapist, love her, we took a little walk and Kami picked some flowers.



I came home to a few messages on my phone dealing with referrals and parent interviews...AKA, lot's of red tape! When your child has a cold, you take them to the Dr, you get quick instructions on what to do that make them well. BUT, when you are dealing with treatment of autism, it is a slow, step by step process of observations, interviews and referrals. Lot's of meetings and tests of all sorts, it's a slow, slow, ongoing process, I would give anything to speed it up a little, like a left kidney, if it would move it along.

Oops, I almost said it!

So...I took all three girls to the mall this last Saturday, I know C-R-A-Z-Y! But, I had gymbucks to spend and time was running out. Kamryn was having an "ok" day, but once we got to the mall, the mass of people and noise sent her down hill fast. We headed to Gymbo, after a 1/2 hour parking space hunt, the place was packed so I parked the stroller at the front of the store and asked my oldest to stay there with the girls while I weaved my way through the crowds.

So, I hunted for the best deals I could find and some ultra cute clothes, the girls were being as good as possible under the circumstances. As I was wrapping up my shopping and headed over to the check out, a loud boom and crash echoed through out the store, followed by a eerie silence, I knew without even looking that it was Kami. She had pulled down a very large sign that is in the front window display, she was scarred and embarrassed, but fine. I apologized repeatedly to the store employees, and almost, almost said, "I am sorry, she's autistic." But, I couldn't! First I didn't want the words to pass my lips to a stranger, then I didn't want to make a excuse for her bad behavior, but I think it boils down to the fact that I don't want to label her, she is not just some autistic child, she is my beautiful, fun loving daughter.

Where to begin.....

Yes, where to begin..... I posted this post http://6weeksandcounting.blogspot.com/2011/04/big-word-had-been-spoken-and-i-am-not.html on my normal blog, well, if you can call anything normal these days. Thinking your quirky daughter may have autism and then being told she does is a heart wrenching experience. After a bit of a meltdown and a good sweat at the gym, bing became my best frienamy and after much looking, I could not find a blog, a really good blog, written my a mother of an autistic child. So, my gaol here is to do just that, have a great blog for moms like me, and lets face it anyone else who wants to read it.